Anyway, this is the 2nd letter to my dearest son. (I blogged the first letter a few days ago: click here)
5 Worst Love Advice You Shouldn't Be Following
1. "You should marry first and figure it out later. Your love for her will grow stronger after marriage."
Dear Shayne, never ever follow this advice. This advice may be given to you if you're in a one-sided relationship. For example- your girlfriend loves you a lot, but you just don't love her anymore. Furthermore, you know that your relationship is never going to work out anymore as the love you once had for your girlfriend is now completely gone.
Shayne, if you're ever caught in such a situation (which I hope not!), never ever listen, or worse still, follow this advice. As horrible as it may sound, the love you once had for your girlfriend will not return after the both of you get married. When your love for her is dead, it remains dead. It does not magically revive again after marriage. Marriage is not a magical pill which allows you to fall in love with her again. It just doesn't work that way.
2. "The guy is always right, there's no point arguing."
Dear Shayne, you better not use this line for your girlfriend. This is a very sexist statement, which is not worth listening and following to! I repeat, do not ever say this to your girlfriend.
3. "The best way to satisfy a man is through his stomach."
Dear Shayne, if your girlfriend is trying to make you happy by cooking or providing for you lots of food, especially unhealthy food, ask her to stop. Immediately.
It's not healthy if she's trying to fatten you up. Once you become fat and obese, she'll definitely regret it and you'll also regret it. Trust me, I never once tried to satisfy your Papa through his stomach and we're still together, after 8 years. (Ok, I did cook for him once. That's all! I didn't cook fattening food for him daily!)
4. "Accept your partner for who she is, never try to change her."
Dear Shayne, your Mama strongly disagrees with this statement. You and your girlfriend should help each other to grow and become better people, even if that involves changing each other.
For example, if your girlfriend has a bad habit of picking her nose in public, please stop her immediately. It's unsightly and disgusting. You must never accept such behaviour from her. In this case, please change her.
Or (ok I'm trying my best not to be blunt), if your girlfriend starts to become useless and lazy, you have to "wake her up" and tell her that she is becoming useless and lazy.
Bottomline- Do not tolerate or accept any bad behaviour from your girlfriend. It's okay to change your girlfriend, so that she can become a better person. Do not be afraid to point out her flaws and mistakes, and vice versa, she should not be afraid to tell you your flaws and mistakes. In the first place, both of you should be honest with each other and should not be afraid of telling each other the truth, even if it's the ugly truth, so that both of you can become a better person and partner to each other.
5. "Love your wife/husband, till death do you apart."
Dear Shayne, yes I agree that you have to love your spouse and be by her side till 'death do you apart'. But, do not listen and follow this advice (or your marriage vow) if your spouse is abusing you, or causing you serious physical or emotional distress. Never ever stay with someone who is causing you to be hurt, emotionally and physically, everyday. It's not worth it. Filing for a divorce (to protect yourself and your family) is no longer a shameful thing in our modern society. In such cases, the marriage vow has to be, and must be, broken.
These are my top 5 worst love advice which I hope you will not follow. But, you may have your own opinion and may even disagree with me. Nonetheless, remember this- you must always respect, love and protect your girlfriend or wife, no matter what happens.
Till then, :)