I was only 5 years old at that time. He brought me to his bedroom (btw he lived on his own and not with us, as my parents were already divorced at that time), sat me down, and talked to seriously and calmly. He said that he was very sick, and would not be with me for many years. He started telling me to take care of myself etc etc. I remember sitting beside him, wondering why were there so many photos of Mother Mary in his bedroom, and why was he telling me all these. Up to this day, I still remember every single detail in his bedroom. The room was dimly litted, the floor was made of parquet-wood, his bedsheet was dirty-brown in colour, countless Mother Mary photo frames were everywhere (not just hanging on the walls) and cigarette smoke filled the entire room.
Anyway, I shall stop being nostalgic and get back to the main topic.
These are the reactions which you should never tell a person whose parent has died:
1) "Wow, I didn't know that. Sorry for asking, you're very brave to have gone through that."
Firstly, you don't need to say Wow and sound amazed. It's not an amazing news. Secondly, I'm not brave. It just happened and that's life. We can't live forever. And, I did not do anything that is brave or courageous.
2) "Erm okay." and proceeds to give me a look of pity and sympathy.
No, I don't need for you to feel pitiful or sorry for me. I believe that my Dad is in a much better place now. I know he'll receive much more love, care and concern in Heaven than on Earth.
3) "Oh I understand how you feel. I lost my _________ too."
And these people start telling me how they lost their so and so. They start a whole new topic of losing their ______ . Sorry, but I'm not interested in how you lost your _______ , that will not make me feel any better. Most importantly, I don't enjoy being in a 'pity party' where we share stories with each other on how we lost our ______.
Worse still, someone once told me, "Oh I understand how you feel. I lost my classmate recently, she committed suicide."
Losing your classmate and parent is very different. Very.
Ok, I shall end here. On a lighter note, it's the weekends! Here's Shayne wishing you a Happy Weekend!
Till then, :)