Thursday, September 6, 2012

I was young and lost, but you found me and trusted me to be your mother.

Babies Choose Their Parents; Life On The Other Side

Ever since I had Shayne, I had this belief within me that he chose me to be his mother, for a reason. Before I had him, I was aimless and lived my life day-by-day, until he came into my life.

Everything changed. I grew up really quickly, became much more mature and even started a business when he was just a newborn! Ok I'll be honest, I'm not a super mum. It was a really difficult time-handling him and running a business at the same time. I was a young mother, and a young entrepreneur. I was clueless as to how a good mother should be, or how a good entrepreneur should be.

But somehow, I drew strength, support and inspiration from him. Whenever I felt stressed and helpless, I'll look at his innocent and pure self, and would feel better. The fears and anxiety I held inside of me would all seem to evaporate when I held him in my arms. (Of course, my partner and family were also around to help me. I can't thank them enough for their help.)

Nevertheless, there was always something within me, inside of me, telling me that my son was in my life for a reason. For a purpose. I held that belief within me for 3 years and just a few nights ago, I decided to look it up on the Internet to see if there were any other parents feeling the same way as me.

And to my surprise, there were other parents who felt the same way too! That their babies chose them, even before they were born. More surprisingly, there's actually an ancient belief that supports this too- that babies choose their mothers and fathers, before they are born.

There is no actual name for this belief, so let's call it "Babies Choose Their Parents; Life On The Other Side".

So this is the belief (which I've tried my best to summarise):

1. There is a belief that babies choose their parents and also have a hand in the life they want to lead, mainly in the lessons and challenges they will face and learn from, in that forthcoming life.

2. All of us actually choose our obstacles in our lives, even before we're born. We even choose who we want and will meet during our lives, from casual acquaintances to relationships. Apparently, we have planned every little detail that will happen in our lives because in Heaven, we feel empowered as though we can conquer everything, hence the tough obstacles we come across in our lives.

3. So how does a child end up with a specific mother? According to this belief, the soul of a child looks down at the world and sees every soul that resides in every woman. When he finds one that will help him fulfill his life's purpose, he makes his choice. The relationship between a mother and her child is no accident. At times, the child may reject his mother and even wish he had a different one. Nonetheless remember, the child make his/her choice for a reason, so that this woman can help him/her live his/her purpose in life.

4. But some may ask, "So the starving children in Africa actually chose their parents? Who later die from Aids or wars?"

5. According to this belief, Yes. Only because we feel THAT invincible in Heaven. So much so that we choose to go to Earth with such difficult parents and challenges, so that we're able to face them, overcome them, and even learn something from them. And/or to have an impact on the people we come in contact with during our lives.

6. Therefore, even if we have terrible parents or have tough challenges to overcome, we still choose them because that path leads us to the life experiences we need later on in our life.

7. Here comes the amazing part- Have you ever experienced that "Deja Vu" feeling? Like a very strong feeling that you have done or seen the exact same thing which you are currently experiencing at the moment? In other words, have you ever had that strong sensation that an event or experience which you are currently experiencing has been experienced in the past before? Well, there is an explanation for this.

8. "Deja Vu" is actually a little reminder to us that we are on the path we originally chose. As mentioned previously, we choose our life paths, includings our ups and downs. That "Deja Vu" feeling is a little reminder that we are staying true to our life path which we have originally planned, before we were born, hence the feeling of "familiarity" and sense of "recall" that the situation which we are currently experiencing has happened before.

After reading up about this belief, everything that happened in my life just seemed to click and make sense.

I grew up without my father, but if I had chose my parents before I was born, then I am glad I did. Growing up in a divorced family and living without my father taught me how to be a better parent. All the mistakes that my father made will never be repeated to Shayne or my other kids in the future.

Once, during Christmas last year, Shayne told me "I am born again" and I remember feeling shocked by his statement. He even said "I am born again" three times. I don't know if he overheard it from a story about Jesus or from someone, but it still gives me the chills when I think about it every now and then...

Ok I gotta stop writing now, this blog entry is turning into a lengthy essay! Anyway, this is a controversial belief and whether you choose to believe it or not, it's up to you. But personally, this is one of the philosophies and beliefs that makes sense to me. Most importantly, I find it really comforting and honoured to know that my son, Shayne, chose me to his mother. (Shayne, Thank you for choosing your Papa and me to be your parents. :))

"And I smiled because finally
my heart had found its home
and I didn’t need anyone to tell me
that you are where I belong
I knew, I just knew
that it was you"

Till then, :)

/ps: Btw, I've found a lovely poem about this philosophy- it's written from a son's point of view to his mother. I'll most likely upload it on his birthday 10th Sept (he's turning 4!), together with photos of him from a baby to a toddler. :D

/pps: Was telling my partner about this belief and why we experience Deja Vu. And he told me that had a few really strong Deja Vu feelings when he was a young kid. For example, he would recall the exact same scene and would even know what his friend was about to speak next, because he had "seen the same thing before". And this is the creepy part... his friend would actually speak exactly what my partner had foreseen it to be! I know, How creepy right???


  1. Oh, I definitely believe that we lived before we came to earth, and that we made choices there that influenced a lot of our experience here.

    I also firmly believe that at least one of my sons chose to be a member of our family. It's been told to me a couple of times, and I also am flattered and humble that he chose us, since I think that he is great! :)

    1. Aaaww that's so sweet :)) He made a good choice ;)

  2. oh gosh, i firmly believe that they chose us. that little man wanted you to be his momma. one lucky boy :)
    xo TJ


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