Being A Young Mum = Throwing Your Life Away?
"Apparently it's hard for some people to believe that living the life of a young mom (even a married one), is actually enjoyable. It seems that, because they think it isn't possible, this means that they are right. But since when does opinion equal fact? Just because there are crappy parents out there who who happen to be young, doesn't mean that all young parents will do a bad job. Likewise, being an older parent doesn't necessarily mean being a good one either; there are just as many older parents who are doing a bad job as there are young ones.
I had my daughter at 21. My husband and I always knew that we wanted kids, but we just weren't sure if we could, due to medical complications (PCOS runs in my family). When we found out that we were pregnant, we were excited, and anxious; a normal response.
Parenting is hard work. Sleepless nights are not always easy and, it's true, you no longer have as much free time. However, I in no way feel that I threw my life down the toilet by having a child at such a young age.
When I was younger I was always a pessimist, but after becoming a wife and mother, I realized that a life of negativity is not one worth living (Imagine that! Learning a valuable lesson while juggling so many responsibilities that I shouldn't even be able to handle at my age! Shocking, I know.).
Even if you feel as though you may have done something, "too soon," you pick yourself up, learn to deal with it, and enjoy the life you now have. Despite popular belief, young moms go on to finish college, have jobs, and aren't always leeching off of society. They make pretty great parents, and aren't nearly as negative as everyone around them telling them that they should have "waited," "found themselves," and all that other BS Negative Nelly's like to spew.
Life is what we make of it. I am a free spirit and will make my own choices regarding how I live my life, regardless of what anyone who is negative thinks. They have no right or authority to tell me that I, "threw my life away".
I enjoy my life, and I don't understand why some people would choose not to believe that. Why is that so hard to believe? Yes babies/kids are a lot of work, but there also, *gasp* good things about parenting as well.
I'm so glad my husband and I have a child together. I wouldn't give her back in a million years in exchange for some time to, "find myself," and live a self-absorbed life. Believe it or not, you don't have to have everything figured out or a "perfect" lifestyle to have a baby and be a good parent. There are no guarantees in life.
You could be "financially secure". You could be 30 and have "found yourself", and life may still decided to throw you an unexpected curve... and then what? Exactly."
I completely agree with the last two paragraphs. Personally, I feel there's never a "right moment" or "right time" for parenthood. Parenthood is something that can never be perfectly planned. You can be earning $10K a month, have a good home, have a good husband, and have everything else that you can think of. But, that doesn't mean that you're going to be the best parent once you have all these things.
I was only 20 when I had my child. Yes, I had to struggle- raising up my kid and building a career for myself, all at the same time. I also had to put up with people who talked and gossiped behind my back, even until this day. But I wouldn't change any part of it. Being a young mother was, and still is, the best experience of my life. Before I had my kid, I had planned on working that 9-5pm job as a journalist or some sort. And I always believed that I wasn't capable enough of setting up my own business, let alone be a working mother. But it all changed when I became a young mother.
Suddenly, I knew that I had to be financially stable (for my kid) but still retain that sense of freedom (for my new family). So what better way than to start our own business? And somehow, one way or another, my partner and I did it. We set up our own business and have never look back since.
In a nutshell, to those nay-sayers who say that being a young mother is "the end of your life" or somesort of BS, they have no idea what they're talking about. No idea at all. Being a young mother is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I wouldn't trade my son, Shayne, for anything else in the world. He will forever be the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Till then, :)
Till then, :)
/ps: The 10 life lessons that I've learnt from my son can be found here. (you have to check out his chubby tummy in the 1st photo! chubbyyy tummyyyy. Haha.)