Thursday, August 7, 2014

Why I'm Thankful for Being The Daughter of A Single Mother.

I've been wanting to write about this topic for a long time but didn't have the time to (and actually the courage to share so openly about it). Nevertheless, I finally have the time (and courage!) to do that now.. So here's a late-night essay about single parenting:


So what is it like to grow up as a daughter of a divorced single mother?

Or more specifically, what is it like to grow up without a father at all?

My mother single-handedly raised my two sisters and I by herself, without any help from my father- we didn't get any emotional or financial support from him, at all. According to society's standards and "research", my sisters and I were destined to become victims. We were destined to have higher risk of developing deviant behaviour such as drug abuse, alcohol problems, friendship and trust issues, anger management issues, and more. According to such research, we are even expected to have lower paying jobs, less academic qualifications than our peers who live with both parents, and become more vulnerable to the temptations of drugs and alcohol. You get the picture- single mother raising daughters? That's a bad idea, according to research. There are even some alarming statistics that claim to prove that children of single mothers are more likely to suffer health problems such as asthma, headaches etc.

In a nutshell, daughters of single mothers will become victims of any and everything negative.

Sounds silly to you? I agree too!

Well, my sisters and I NEVER had these perceived problems. First of all, we don't drink, smoke or do drugs. Secondly, we are all university graduates; we didn't drop out of school! My elder sister has a medical degree, I achieved a second class Honours degree in law and my younger sister has a near perfect 4.0 GPA score! So I'm happy to say that we rose above the doom-and-gloom of single parenting statistics.

Truthfully, knowing that my mother was able to raise three daughters all by herself at the age of 29 gave me the strength and courage to be a young mother and entrepreneur. I won't lie, it was really tough. Tears were involved.

Nonetheless, it is truly upsetting to think that society and its silly statistics can actually affect so many young girls out there. The subjective opinions of people and statistics of "research" can actually kill the dreams of children of single parents before they even get the chance to fulfill them. On the contrary, all these young children have bright futures and they are much bigger than what they perceive themselves to be.

It doesn't matter if your family has one parent or two. It doesn't matter if you had your child when you were 20 or 30. It doesn't matter how close or far you are from the national poverty level. What matters most is that you believe in yourself and take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to you. Your background doesn't matter, it doesn't define who you are as a person. Rather, it's what you do that defines who you are.

So today, I'll say it loudly and proudly- I am a daughter of a divorced single mother, and against all odds, I turned out fine. I am, and forever will be, extremely thankful for my single mother for all her sacrifices, love, support and wisdom that she has showered upon us. I respect her so much, and love her so very much too.


My sisters and I (taken during the early 90's). That's my elder sis on the left, I'm in the middle, and my younger sis on the right!
My sisters and I (2014). That's still my elder sis on the left and younger sis on the right! :)

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written! I completely agree with you, it doesn't matter where you come from, but that you take every opportunity that you are given and take advantage to do something great! I bet your mom is so proud of you all! That's so awesome!

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Thank you for your lovely comment!

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