Thursday, June 25, 2015

Happy Father's Day, Mum. You're the BEST Father And Mother there ever was.

My elder sis and me. I was about 3 years old here ;)
My elder sis, me and my younger sis. No idea why I'm tilting my head and why my sister's mouth is wide open. Hahaha!
I know this may be a few days late (4 days late in exact), but I'll like to wish my Mum a Happy Father's Day! :) Whenever I'm having a hard day with my kids and work, I just think of my Mum and realise that all my problems and "hardships" are insignificant compared to hers.

As I've mentioned before, my mum is a divorced mother who didn't receive or take a single cent from my father after the divorce. It was a messy long ordeal; their divorce dragged on for 3+ years as my father strongly refused to get divorced and the only way which he finally agreed to the divorce was when he didn't have to give a single cent to my mother. No matrimonial assets were divided among them and no child support maintenance fees were given to us. Basically, we received nothing at all. The irony was that he came from a very rich background. I hate to talk about his background, but let's just say every single Indian in Singapore will know of his family and his father's contribution to our society. Anyway, after the agreement of not giving a single cent to my mum and us, he finally agreed to divorce my mother. It was a huge relief for my mother as she didn't have to endure the lengthy divorce process anymore and could move on with her life. So at the age of 31, my mother then took on the sole responsibility of raising us all by herself, without any help from our father and our paternal side.

Single mothers have the hardest job on earth. With limited resources, support and help, they are charged with the enormous task of ensuring the healthy mental, emotional and social development of their little ones. My mum had two, and sometimes three jobs, just to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. She was, and still is, the most hardworking and capable person whom I will ever know of.

I still remember of an incident back then when I was in primary school. Once, she really needed to earn more money as her salary had completely been used up for our HDB mortgage and household expenses. (She was a nurse back then and her salary was only $1500 a month.) She then went around asking her colleagues if they know of anyone who needed help with their newborns and thankfully, she managed to find 3 mothers who really needed help! So she provided baby-care lessons for them. She taught them how to bathe their babies, nurse their babies successfully, and basically look after their babies well, while earning some extra money that way. I still remember the words that she said after she told me of this experience. Her words were "No matter how bad the situation was, I knew that there was always a way. When your father left, I promised myself that the 3 of you will never starve or feel like you're last in society. I told myself that I have to study hard and work hard at the same time to build a better future for us."

So Happy Father's Day, Mum. You're the strongest and most resilient woman
whom I will ever know of. I know that there were probably many lonely days and nights where you don’t know how you are going to make it or take it. Until this day, I don't know how you're able to endure those traumatising days with our father, go through the lengthy divorce process, rebuild a life after that, and all at the same time, take care of us. But those days are over, and I can proudly say that you're truly the best parent one can ever have. You're forever a role model and inspiration to me. Without your guidance and support, I wouldn't be where I am today. You're the best mother and father there ever was, and thank you for raising us so well. We love you, and your grandsons love you too! :))

/ps: To all the single mothers out there, hang in there. It will get tough, but your children will appreciate, respect and love you so much more than you will ever know of. Being a single mother is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears. But also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride, so there is absolutely nothing "single" about a single mum. :)

Little me sitting on my favourite chair ;)
Me and my younger sis
The 3 of us and Shayne-Shayne! This was taken last year during my sister's birthday.

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