Thursday, September 17, 2015

A Letter To My 7 Year Old Son


 Dear Shayne,

Just like that, in a blink of an eye, you're now officially 7 years old. A Primary 1 pupil. I still remember when you first came into your papa's and my life, how you depended on us for survival and all the little milestones you achieved throughout your baby-hood and toddler-hood. Learning to sit. Learning to stand. Learning to walk. Learning to talk.

After a few years, the milestones become less defined and there were no longer checklists.

It’s no longer about learning how to sit or stand, but when to sit or stand. Acts of kindness such as offering someone a helping hand and putting someone's comfort ahead of your own are values which you need to learn daily. However the rules for acts of kindness are not simple; there's no hard and fast rule to it. There may be times when your act of kindness may be hurt someone's fragile, or even egoistic, pride. Even at 27, I'm still learning about such tricky delicate situations. But remember, never stop offering a small act of kindness to whoever you think may need it. That person may be your friend, family or even a stranger. If you think you're capable of easing someone's burden, then do it wholeheartedly with no regrets.

It’s also no longer about knowing how to walk, but where to walk. You will make choices such as deciding which group of friends to hang out with during recess, deciding whether you should do your homework or play at the nearby playground with your neighbourhood friends and more. Defining moments camouflage themselves in our daily routine and most of them are seemingly small choices. To smile or not, to speak or stay silent, to stay or leave, to follow the crowd or not to. I can only advise you on these matters, but at the end of the day, you will ultimately be one deciding which choice you'll take. And that decision may be momentous.

Last but not least, it's no longer about learning how to talk, but which words to use. Words have power and must be used wisely. They have the power to either hurt or heal. Sometimes when you get angry, you'll say words which hurt but I know that you don't mean it. Even I sometimes say hurtful words to the people closest to me when I'm angry. It's funny how we always reserve these words to the ones closest to our hearts. Ironically, it takes only a split second to be hurt by words but it takes days, weeks, months or even years to be healed by words. An apology can never fully erase the hurt and damage you have caused to that person. The shadow of those hurtful words will forever remain in his/her heart. But no matter what, you must always apologise after saying hurtful words. When you have done or said something wrong, always apologise and the best apologies are always face-to-face.

At seven, and being a new pupil in a big primary school filled with 2000 over students and teachers, you will start to learn a lot more about life and people. You will learn when to sit and stand, where to walk, and which words to use. You will learn so much in the years to come, son. Trial and error will be your greatest teacher. You may get hurt, upset and bruised along the way. But that's all part of the growing and we need to learn to overcome them. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

You may look to me for help in the next few years and unfortunately, I won't have all the answers to your problems.

But, I still want to hear your questions. Including your doubts, worries and fears. I will stand by your side, through thick and thin.

Love,

Your Mummy

Goodie bags for Shayne's classmates!
A little birthday celebration at home :)
Shayne had to undergo surgery a few days ago and was hospitalised, but he has since fully recovered and is all better now!

Mummy loves you, Shayne. To the moon and back <3

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